You know, there's a saying I've heard in passing a handful of times in my life thus far, and it pretty much says the red, white and green of the Italian flag represents tomato sauce, mozzarella cheese and parsley. Parsley or some other vegetation used a great deal over there. You get the drift.
White pizza shits on this principle, leaving the color of passion by the wayside.
Where's the flavor? Where's the spark? The kick? Am I supposed to be excited that my pizza is missing a key ingredient? Is the spinach supposed to pacify me?
This is no longer a pizza, it's a friggin' panini. Or garlic bread. What should I dip this garlic bread in?
Hmmmmm.
Fettuccini Alfredo is white pizza's dick cousin. Like the white pizza, Fettuccini Alfredo ostracizes the beautiful, beautiful tomato sauce, opting for a cheesy, birdshit semen cream. The shit looks boring, tastes boring and always shows up when I'm really jonesin' for some tomato sauce.
Look, my dudes...I really like hangin' out, but if you're gonna order a pizza, why can't it be a goddamn quintessential PIZZA!? I enjoy shit that's out of the box too, but if it's a pizza box we're talking about, then I better see some red on that bitch.
Ugh.
-Chilco
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